Hi, so recently I posted on my facebook about how I dislike talking about cars. My sister and I noticed how deeply concentrated men are when they are fixing or cleaning their cars or bikes. My dad sometimes tries to tell me about what he’s doing to his cars, and I’ve had a few friends who talk about their mechanics too. To me, I just feel most women do not care about the particulars or mechanics of a car. I know there are women who like it, and that’s fine. But most of us don’t.
It made me think that men (okay, I know some women do too) take the time to know their cars. They read the manuals, look up videos, consult with friends, and spend hours or weeks (months even) to try and fix a problem. Every car or bike is different. They don’t consult just with anyone about their cars/bikes. They reach out to those who are experts or have experience on the field. It would be a sacrilege to consult just to anyone about it, right? Right, because they can ruin the precious car/bike/truck. I added truck this time. So every time they start a project, they have to begin all over to truly understand the car/bike/ truck.
We women, or anyone for that matter, also take the time to the same on any given topic or hobby. Then I thought, imagine we took the same amount of dedication to get to know a person. At many times, I’ve noticed couples consult friends or family members about relationships. First, how successful are these people in their relationships? If your friend gives you a toxic advice, why would you consider it? You wouldn’t even consider it for your car! “My precious.”
Depending on the relationship, is your friend loyal and respectful? I think it’s best to consult experts, people with experience, and or successful relationships that show genuine love and that have endured struggles.
Going back to the car part: like your car (or any given hobby or the like) wouldn’t you want to ask advice from people who can guide you to a healthier relationship? Why not dedicate time to understand the ins and outs of a person? Why is okay to dedicate time to an object, and yet getting to know a person is such a hassle?
The same is true of any relationship: love interest, friendship, or family. Why it is that we don’t dedicate quality time to a person? If a car is that complicated, I can imagine a human being is even more challenging. I suppose as long as it’s not talking back, we’re okay with that challenge.
It’s also true that we can’t dedicate quality time to everyone. But if we care about those we love and who are supposed to be on top of our priority list, maybe we should dedicate hours, weeks, months, and years to truly appreciate them. And the same could be said of our passions, goals, and dreams. Everything needs time and dedication. I suppose it’s easier said than done. Nonetheless, maybe we can all try to be the auto mechanics of life.
©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.