How I Lie Every Day

I lie every day.

She asked how I was doing, and I said, “Good, good. Thank you.”

He asked if I am okay, I said, “I’m doing well.”

I sent a text message that read, “Lol!” But I wasn’t laughing out loud.

I sent a smiley face. But I was not smiling.

I said I’d be ready in five minutes. It took me thirty minutes.

I said to myself, “I don’t care.” That didn’t last too long.

Then I told myself, “Hey, I do care,” to realize I didn’t care.

I said I was busy. I wasn’t. I was procrastinating.

Only because I was trying to be busy. You know?

Am I busy? Or procrastinating? Or both?

I told myself that I was collected.

My inner world is utter chaos.

I thought, “I can’t make it through this life.”

So far, I’ve survived.

When will the lies cease?

When I realize that it’s okay–

To be who I am.

To be me.

Me.

©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.