I lie every day.
She asked how I was doing, and I said, “Good, good. Thank you.”
He asked if I am okay, I said, “I’m doing well.”
I sent a text message that read, “Lol!” But I wasn’t laughing out loud.
I sent a smiley face. But I was not smiling.
I said I’d be ready in five minutes. It took me thirty minutes.
I said to myself, “I don’t care.” That didn’t last too long.
Then I told myself, “Hey, I do care,” to realize I didn’t care.
I said I was busy. I wasn’t. I was procrastinating.
Only because I was trying to be busy. You know?
Am I busy? Or procrastinating? Or both?
I told myself that I was collected.
My inner world is utter chaos.
I thought, “I can’t make it through this life.”
So far, I’ve survived.
When will the lies cease?
When I realize that it’s okay–
To be who I am.
To be me.
©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.