Song of the Week #14: “Father,” Demi Lovato

I’ve been posting my favorite songs, for the most part, on Fridays. I have drifted from that a bit, and I now have a few posts on Saturdays. I might just switch this part of my blog to simply “Song of the Week #.”

For this week, I choose Demi’s ballad, “Father.” I saw a live performance on youtube, and it made me think of this following passage:

“When we resolve our own questions of absolute meaning by reducing them to family dynamics, ultimately blaming our parents for life’s difficulties, we dehumanize our parents and oversimplify the challenge of our own existence…our lives would be all the richer if we could let go of the excuse of parental failure,” by Thomas Moore, Soulmates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love & Relationships

Demi is one of my favorite singers. She’s in the pop industry, and she has an incredibly amazing and powerful voice. Among her popular singles, her music contains several songs with deep emotions such as, “Father.” Here is part of the lyrics:


Father, I’m gonna say thank you
Even if I’m still hurt
Oh, I’m gonna say bless you
I wanna mean those words

Always wished you the best
I, I prayed for your peace
Even if you started this
This whole war in me

You did your best or did you?
Sometimes I think I hate you
I’m sorry, dad, for feelin’ this
I can’t believe I’m sayin’ it
I know you were a troubled man
I know you never got the chance
To be yourself, to be your best
I hope that heaven’s given you
A second chance
Father, I’m gonna say thank you
Even if I don’t understand
Oh, you left us alone
I guess that made me who I am
What I like about this song is that Demi is honest. Her father pretty much abandoned her, and he struggled with alcoholism. When Demi got older, she cut communications for about two years with her dad because “he let her down” too many times. In 2103, he lost the battle to cancer. The strained relationship makes “Father” so much more gut-wrenching. She questions whether her father tried his best or not, and then she admits that “sometimes she hates him.” But of course, she prays for him.
I feel this is a cathartic song for Demi. She manages to purge all her feelings and accept reality, truth, and restoration through her co-written lyrics. And we can also perceive how creative writing can be a wonderful, painful, and effective therapeutic process. This is something not many people know how to do because they rather live in denial. When we embrace all of our emotions and accept them, we purify our souls. It gives us a chance to move on, forgive, and start a new chapter.
In her song, we can see that Demi accepts her father’s humanity, which brings me back to Moore’s passage. Some aspects of life are more complicated than just “family dynamics.” We need to understand where our parents come from. Does it excuse the negative actions? Certainly not, but it does help to comprehend their actions.
Below I will post her live music video, a picture that she posted on Twitter, and a link to an article. I hope you like the song. As always, please share your thoughts below.
demi pics.jpg
©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

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