Even though most people who know me don’t know about my blog or if they do, they don’t read it anyway, I usually leave names and institutions out. I don’t think it’s necessary to name anyone/anything by name. This is my personal blog where I express and share ideas, not to put people on blast, even if a person behaved inappropriately toward me. I think those things should be managed in person because I am the type of person who talks directly to people.
Further, we all like to trust loved ones and friends who we think have a legitimate reason behind their feelings and thoughts about a situation or person—and maybe they do. But we all have this mind full of perceptions, fallacies, and imperfections, both a conscious and subconscious world. It’s good to consider all the factors and people involved before making any final judgments or decisions on a person.
It’s crucial to see if character matches speech. I try not to be irritating. But I ask my loved ones or friends, “Are you sure? And why do you believe this or that?” It’s also important to consider personality clashes. While I can get along with a person, maybe my loved one or friend cannot due to personality differences. We have to be careful about how we evaluate a person. The reason I say this is because I feel that generally we asses people based on the thoughts of others without presenting much evidence. “I feel…” and that’s it. Or “He or she said in a very rough tone…” once again that’s it.
I have a friend who constantly sees people either just as “pissed” or “upset.” At times, this friend has even said, “Look, Ana is upset.” And sometimes, I was not. I even asked others, “So did I look upset?” When the majority said, “No, you looked like you were thinking,” then that’s when I thought, “Okay, so I didn’t look upset”—because when I am, I say it.
Even in my simple example, I am still considering the perception of others to make sure about my facial emotion. But what if they were wrong, and the one person was right? My point is, that we need to be mindful of what is being said of a person and why. Did they mean it? Did they not explain it right? Did someone misunderstand something? Or was this person having a bad day? Did something change in their life? Why are they acting differently? Are they acting spiteful, or is it a defense mechanism? What if I’m wrong? What if I misunderstood? Oh, the what if’s…
Writing this blog makes me think how complicated human interaction can be. What are your thoughts on all this? Thank you.
By the way, as a writer, I consider all this for my characters.
©Ana P. Rose 2018