Your mind is foggy.
Your muscles contract.
Thoughts & images of those wronged you creep up.
You fight with them all in your mind.
The thoughts of regret blow up in your chest.
Your mind continues to bloat.
Oh, that person, that person who presses your buttons.
Violence takes over the mind.
You don’t act on it.
Oh, but you sure think it.
The seed is built in your heart.
That’s bad enough already, right?
You’ve allowed poised to destroy the greenery of your thoughts.
Tumbleweeds cross the desolate place.
You say things you shouldn’t say, some you mean, others you don’t.
Your stomach continues to sink.
You run away to hide the vulnerable mask.
But you made sure, to make the angry mask a spectacle.
You sense the tides of tears wanting to force their way through.
You only allow one or two.
And you think, these I can control.
But not your anger.
Your anger boils.
Your mind toils.
It’s a roller coaster when it gets this bad.
Then you think about the eyes:
The ones who mock you because you lost it again.
The ones who look at you like you’re crazy.
And finally, your very own eyes.
It’s the reflection you least like.
You hope you never see them,
Or in the least, that it stays a long distant friend.
Because in reality, it’s a fiend.
Lastly, you ask, “Why am I so angry today?”
You reply, “I don’t know.”
That’s also when you realize and think, “Oh.”
You fall on your knees.
And you say sorry to God.
All rights reserved ©Ana P. Rose 2018