Two Sides of the Coin: Slandering A Person

Hello, everyone. I wanted to share a peculiar experience I had about a month ago. On my previous account of Instagram, I had a little over a thousand followers. For different reasons, I decided to delete the account, and create a new one.

Right before removing it, some guy that followed me, asked me how I knew, Let’s call her X. X had been following me for a while, and at times liked my posts. I asked him, “Why are you asking me about her?” He got a little offended. He then told me that X was his ex-girlfriend. He said that X cheated on him and that she was a horrible person.

As you know, when you have enough followers, it’s a bit difficult to keep up with them unless they frequently like and comment on your posts. So, I had no clue who these two people were, except for the information they provided on their Instagram.

The experience made me realize something. There are possibly past relationships which reach out to people to slander your character. I was in utter shock. I blocked him. It was none of my business, and who knows how accurate this information was.

People who behave in such ways are terrible. Who goes out of their way to reach out to strangers or even common relationships to say, “Psst…she’s/he’s this or that.” Who sends private messages to smear another person?

People who naively accept one side of a story without considering facts or hearing the other side of the story, participate in negative behaviors by such people. Even if it’s a family member or a friend is reasonable to ask questions and try to find a solution.

I can count on my sisters to put me in my place when I am wrong. They ask questions like, “Are you sure she/he meant it in a bad way?” “Were they having a bad day?” “What did they say and how did they say it?” “Are you sure?” “How often have they behaved like this?” If after discussing it, they find out I’m wrong, they tell me, “You should apologize.” Or if I’m in the right, they say, “Talk to this person. See their reaction. If they don’t care, then move on.”

At times, it’s difficult because maybe both parties have truth to their story, but they need a mature and critical thinker to help them find a medium or solution. For those people who I am close to, I do tell them, “Hey, look. This person did this and that. What do you think I should do?”

But I don’t go around telling the whole world. A person who engages in gossip to put someone in a negative light for the sake of doing is a very sad and toxic person. They have a lot to learn from life, so it’s best to be cautious about these kinds of relationships—nothing they say reliable because their soul is tainted with personal insecurities.

I don’t think about it much in real life. I just wanted to write about how there are some oddballs out there up to no good. I am confident in who I am. I am aware of my flaws and strengths, and it is mainly due to the people who surround me. They help me stay grounded. It’s essential to have loved ones which help us evolve as people and not merely cater to us so that we don’t get offended or upset.

How do you cope when someone approaches you with advice regarding a person?