I used to share my emotions and talk it out. But now I kind of retreat to myself. If I am not in a mood for a shallow conversation, I simply stay away. You know, those type of conversations about the weather or what happened in your day. Instead, I exercise, read a book, pray, meditate, or write. I also started journaling.
I don’t explain myself either. Because once you tell someone, “you see, I feel like this because…” fill in the blank, then you have to engage. When you engage, you end up with these answers:
- Oh, sorry you feel like (which there is nothing wrong with this answer).
- Oh, me too (you hear their story. But it’s too much because you already have all these things on your mind).
- Or they go on some rant completely irrelevant that I couldn’t possibly care any less. (It sounds mean. I know. But it’s how I feel).
At times, none of these conversations help me sort out my thoughts, or maybe I don’t want to sort them out–something that is okay too. So, instead of being mean or rude and raining on a person’s parade, even if they are trying to help, I retreat.
I’m an introvert, and I get overwhelmed by people. I don’t hate people, and I don’t hate to socialize. I just get exhausted of it. Think about it like a phone battery. Once you have used it too much, your phone needs to recharge, right? Well, it’s the same thing with an introvert.
Many people have the idea that introverts are anti-social. On the contrary, introverts do like people, they just need that alone time to recharge and jump back on the boat of socialization. It takes more time for an introvert to engage than extrovert, but eventually, they do open up. Extroverts easily immerse in the sea of people. Just remember this, extroverts recharge batteries through the energy of people. Introverts get drained, and they need “me time” to gain energy to socialize fully.
If you’re forceful and disrespectful, an introvert is not going to open up to you. Also, introverts don’t always dwell in the mind. We do express. But only if we trust the person.
And please, don’t confuse an introvert with a person who likes to play mind games. You know, those people who want something and won’t say it because they think others can read their mind. That’s not introversion. That’s either a manipulative or an immature type of character, perhaps even both.
And to clarify the difference between an introvert and anti-social, the following is the best answer that I can personally give you from my own research: an anti-social is someone who cannot socialize with others in harmony–meaning, they say things to offend, throw fits in public, they’re disrespectful, and or they don’t care about violating a person’s rights.
As I sit here typing away and listening to instrumental music, picture my “phone battery” charging. I sigh at the relief of my special “me time.”
Are you an introvert? Or an extrovert? Or perhaps an ambivert, that is that you can be either an introvert or an extrovert? What’s your research or knowledge on introversion and extroversion? Is this your first time hearing about it? Please, share your comments below. I appreciate them a lot. Thank you.
If you want to learn more about introverts, I suggest you read, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.